Does it ever feel like something is holding you back? Like you’re tangled up in an unnecessarily-complicated web of blood vessels and nerve tissue? Does it feel like you’re always pulling around a bunch of dead weight? Does it feel like there’s something deep inside you that you’re dying to get out? Don’t despair: it happens to the best of us. Maybe that’s why this Plus Size Scary Skeleton Costume is always so popular!

Put it on and let go of the trivial problems from your former flesh-and-blood lifestyle. Then, come hang out with all the other skeleton people for a while! We do pretty much all of the same things that normal people do, but we’re always drinking milk (for the calcium) and we never sweat the petty stuff. In fact, we never sweat at all! And saving on underarm deodorant is just one of the many perks of being a skeleton person. There are plenty of other great benefits, too, but we can’t think of any at the moment. If only there was a little more gray matter inside these alabaster craniums…

Just kidding! We skeleton people don’t have the thickest skin, so we try to keep things light. It’s not difficult, because we have a great support system. So don’t fall to pieces if some spineless creep says that your costume is bare-bones. Stand up for yourself! Let him know that skeleton people like us prefer the term bony-casual. Sure, we take pride in our appearance. We’re just not easily rattled!